So here’s my uh theories for right now…
Breadiness. That’s all I got. There’s so much more! *Theme Song* In action. I forgot, what did I say? Oh, we’ve got Breadiness, Breadibility, Breaditude, and Breadth.. Breadth. bread-TH. BREADth.
How do you say it? Breadth? (Yeah.)
BREADTH My sauce needs to breathe Vroom Vroom VROOM Hello, welcome to the Official Bread
Channel. I’m your host Jesse. I am Shayna. I’m being official. Shut up We’re going to bring you a lot of different tastes of bread… -Am I supposed to say something?
-Go ahead, Shayna -Are we gonna eat the bread?
-Yes Okay, today what we’re going to do is be reviewing bread We’re going to first review our
Little Caesars crazy bread. Not that crazy Now we’re gonna be grading on some
different criteria. First… Appearance (Breadability)
Second, smell. Third, seasoning. Fourth… Are these real categories? -…density. Five, taste…
-This isn’t physics. …and six, mouthfeel. *gagging* -How do you feel about mouthfeel, Shayna?
-Who did that?! Why can’t you just say like fluffiness or something?
Even moisture would be better, that’s disgusting! Let’s start. *Theme Song* wWWwwwooOOoOoOOww Okay, now first criteria is appearance.
Shayna, how would you say that this looks? -Soggy.
-Yeah it looks a little bit soggy, just really buttery and garlicky …some people might say that as a plus or not -Greasy as heck.
-Yeah, I’m gonna have to agree with that.
-Soggy boiiiisss 3. It kind of looks kinda disgusting. It’s like if I didn’t wash my hair for a week…
that’s what it looks like Next, going to our second criteria of smell Good. I can smell it from here. Get that away from me! No. This is not how it’s gonna work. I’m rating it once. -Pretty good.
-Anyways, I would rate this for the smell… Mmmh, I think it smells like okay, not like
amazing, so yes, I’ll give it a five. -Okay, now we’re gonna do the density of it.
-Pretty dense. Ohhhmygotschhh 1 being fluffy as can be, and 10 being really really dense, I give it… I think a 6 K These are way greasier than usual.
It’s like a slip ‘n slide on here. You can slide down it on your belly for sure,
like a penguin. Seasoning: It’s over seasoned.
*Snorting* Uh, there’s just a lot of garlic and butter
which is giving it this… appearance. You probably like bland, dry chicken too. How do you say it tastes on a scale of 1 to 10? -Okay, for my breadth rating, I’d give it ummm.. I’d say 6.3
-6.3, okay Yeah, I think finally
our last category, unless I missed something… -So now we’re going to be going on to mouthfeel.
-He is. I already did my breadth. How’s that feel? in your mouth?
This is the worst category ever!! I’m trying to imagine it (Ohmygotsch) in my mouth You’re trying to imagine it in your mouth!? It IS in your mouth!! What do you mean imagine it? Like imagine more of it in your mouth?
(Okay, okay, I would say mouthfeel…) Like multiple breadsticks in your mouth? How it feels in my mouth is that it’s very like.. it’s like soft. Like it has a good texture (NEXT BREAD!) It’s not too overpowering. It’s not like
too sticky. It’s not too like greasy. Rating for mouthfeel: an 8. *Theme Song* Look at that. Check it, check out the sPICEs, boiii! -Okay, appearance…
-This thing is annoying. It looks good. It looks really well-seasoned, looks crispy, looks good. I would give this a 9 out of 10. *side-eye*
I like this one. I think, going off of smell *big whiffs*
The smell is fine, so average 5. I think that’s what I said for that one, but 5 is smell. Okay. The #1 rule on this channel is don’t let any bread touch the ground. -It touched the table.
-But not the ground.
-Same thing. *Judgment* Density: I feel like it’s really dense. (dense boi)
I’m gonna give it.. I’m gonna give it an 8 out of 10. The taste, I would say it tastes better than the crazy bread. I’m gonna give the taste an 8.. an 8 out of 10. Ok, breadth. I’m gonna say… um 7.9. Okay. *Theme Song* Overall for the crazy bread, I would give it.. I’ll give it a straight 6. Straight 6. The Shayna score is a 6.3 For the cheesy bread, seven point (nine)
7.9 -I’d give it an 8.
-Oh you copycat. There’s one category we haven’t done yet
*nostrils flaring with discomfort* -Ya, we.. we did ’em all..
-Um, no we didn’t Jesse, there’s children here (Smell…) Oh, seasoning. We didn’t do seas.. oh yeah. I would say this is well-seasoned. 7/10 Now finally, our final category is mouthfeel.
*regrets everything* *prolonged tasting sesh* I think the cheesiness might
stick in your mouth a little bit. That’s what you said last time, there’s not even cheese on that one! You’re not imagining it this time? I’m gonna give the mouthfeel score a 7 out of 10. Grease score: a 6! You see it? (Hold on.) -Oh, that’s a good category. Grease score.
-Greasy bois. -Okay, now we’re going to sign-off.
-wut *utter shock* We done. Goodbye. Thank you for watching the Official Bread Review channel. Again, I’m Jesse… Like and subscribe. Share this with your mom on Facebook. Her… your great aunt probably loves bread.
If your gluten free…. sorry. Yeah! Tag Little Caesars on this. So ya, post it to Twitter… OH! Sponsored by Little Caesars!
(We are not sponsored by Little Caesars!) Their..they..th…they contributed to our… (No! No!) the…th.. they gave us this free bread cause they wanted to get on the.. the. the famous official channel of bread. I dunno what this is… this is gang.. ummmmm… Okay, thank you for watching, byeee -I bet first day I can get at least 10 subscribers.
-Ya, I think your mom made that many Yelp accounts. *cameraman wheezes* *Theme Song*