I Didn’t Eat Bread Once So Now I’ll Look Like Gisele

– It’ll be like this flowy, silk thing and like, when I fold it out like this, it’ll look like I have wings and stuff. It’ll be really–
– Hey guys, um, can I have everyone’s
attention for a second? – I mean, I was just
describing my dream cape, but sure, whatever.
– Thank you. Um, just wanted to prepare you guys for some physical changes
that I’ll be going through in the near future. This weekend, I was at a restaurant and I didn’t eat the bread. (everyone gasping) – Holy shit.
– [Trapp] What? – So, needless to say, I’m gonna have Gisele’s body like, any day or minute now. – Oh my God, wow, congratulations. – Wait, wait, wait, wait. I was in the bathroom and I heard gasps, what did I miss? – Cassia didn’t eat the bread one time. – So you could have Gisele’s
body like, any minute now. – Yeah. Uh!
– [Trapp] Uh! (excited chattering) – Wait, tell us the whole story. Like, we gotta hear
every detail about this not-eating-the-bread-one-time miracle, I mean, where were you? – So I was having dinner at Gene’s Not So Lean’s Italian Cuisines. (oohing and aahing)
– I love that place, one of those with the S after Lean. – Great bathrooms–
– Wait a second okay, shut up. Who were you with? – No one. – What?
– Tout sole. So that makes it all the more
enticing to eat the bread, cause you have to kill the lonely. – Okay, when the bread came to your table, you jus–
– Didn’t eat it. – Well f–(beep). – This is incredible! (excited chattering and laughing) – I cannot wrap my mind around this not eating
the bread one time thing! – Are you trying right now? – I’m trying! Nope, just can’t do it. I cannot believe it.
– [Shavon] I have no idea. What did you eat? – [Voiceover] Ooh. – I ordered spaghetti
bologniase, extra niase. Oh and that was another thing, they forget the extra niase at first, so I had to send it back. – What the fuck?
– So that was another full 15 minutes of me
not eating the bread. – No. – My Gisele body hasn’t popped on yet, but I’m sure it will any minute now. – Of course, Cassia, you not
eating the bread that one time is more heroic than our soldiers. – Well, I don’t know. – Cassia, this package came for you. – Oh, thank you. – Oh, bread! – [Trapp] Yeah! – I ordered a bunch of stuff off Amazon when I realized I would have Gisele’s body any second now. Plus I love the fact that
she’s like, from the Amazon. (chattering)
– Yes, yes! – So this is all I’ll wear now. bikinis, string bikinis.
(oohing and aahing) – You’ve got it, flaunt it. – This is where I’ll work now. – Oh, cool.
(oohing and aahing) – And of course I love the Patriots now. – It’s a football team. – Or shall I say, well I have to practice
Brazilian before I can use it. – Cassia, are you saying you think you’re going to become Gisele? – It was warm bread and
a whipped, tiny butter that I forwent. – Than that’s it, you’re
going to become Gisele. – Yeah, and she will become
me and get this body. – Actually in that case,
do you mind if I um, I’m just gonna ah… – Is that–
(marker squeaking) – For Tom Brady. – Yeah, I wanna fuck Tom Brady. – Hey, I’m Cassia from CollegeHumor. To subsribe, click here and to see more fun stuff, click here. Now can I get my fucking chocolate latte? No, It’s a hot chocolate
with extra foam, idiot. (light hip-hop music) Don’t forget to click. (laughing nervously) Just kidding, I drink.

100 thoughts on “I Didn’t Eat Bread Once So Now I’ll Look Like Gisele

  1. Fun fact…. if you don’t eat the heart chances have it that the people would just throw all of it away(fancy restaurants are more common). So please do.

  2. I live in brazil, no we dont speak brazilian, no we dont speak spanish(we speak portuguese), yes we really like soccer, and no we are not savages

  3. Grant looks super straight, is he really gay? …hm, too bad for women (no, not sarcastic, he's attractive unlike Keith from buzzfeed, that guy really is ugly)

  4. Tbh, i don't like bread
    They made my jaw tired. I know, i mean. I usually eat squid and chewy food and that should taking more time and energy to chew. But, 20 chew of squid is way less tiring than 4 chew of bread. The only bread that i can eat without feeling tired is a bread that is stuffed with srikaya jam


    Also, eating bread makes me bored

  5. Ok……..
    You can, like, destroy your life to look like whoever the floof that is…….
    Not my decision. Bread is, like, life. ( [~]w[~])🍞🥐🥖

  6. 2 ethnic and geographic mistakes here:
    1- Gisele Bündchen isn't from Amazon, she is from Brazil (which isn't a sinonym for Amazon) and she is from the South part, the further it can be from the rain forest
    2- We don't speak "brazilian" here, we speak Portuguese, since we are former colonies of Portugal, like in the US you don't speak "american", but you speak English for the same reasons!

    Do your homework first and then release a relatable and likable sketch!

  7. Why not include last name…? She is actually known as Gisele Bundchen. Like it's almost always included when referencing her lol im confused

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