Häagen-Yaz: Birth Control Ice Cream


[Gasp] Becca: Did I remember to take my pill? VO: Now there’s a birth control you’ll never forget because it tastes so good, you’ll want to eat it every day. Haagen Yaz For the first time ever, women can obtain affordable birth control in the form of their favorite ice cream. It’s also friggin delicious. Drew: Hey babe, did you remember to take your pill? Katie: I don’t have to! I just have to remember to eat ice cream. And because it’s medicine, I can’t gain any weight! VO: Yes, you can! Haagen Yaz is 100% made with cream, sugar, and eggs. Gretchen: Before Haagen Yaz, I hated seeing my doctor for my perscription. He always judged me for wanting to have sex and not wanting to get pregnant. VO: Instead, call our hotline number: 555-3124 And ask for Gary. Gretchen: Gary? VO: Plus, our shipping is very discrete. Gretchen: It’s so good, I can eat the entire packet in one day. VO: No, don’t do that. Remember, it has estrogen… and lots of it. Gretchen: Bitch, I don’t care! VO: We also believe in women, and their individuality. That’s why Haagen Yaz comes in different flavors to accomodate more women and their unique taste… Cookie No-No Baby Dough-Dough Nuts and Cramp-berry Chocolate Pillnut Butter And Rocky Road! Remember, don’t eat too much or your ovaries will explode… [Wild Animal Noises] Guard: Oh come on, guys! Johnny, they got in again! [Hissing] Get out! Katie: Go! Go! [Growling] VO: Ask your doctor today if Haagen Yaz is right for you, or don’t because we got Gary. Using Haagen Yaz may lead to severe chronic abdominal pains or deadly infections. Haagen Yaz can cause bloody diarrhea and make you poop crystals. And coming soon… Haagen-Thorex Ice Cream Condom… for men! Drew: So cold! VO: But is it better than wearing a condom? Drew: Yeah! VO: Reclaim your life with your own flavor. Say yas to Haagen Yaz! Not FDA approved.

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