WAPOOSH* Top of the morning to you laddies! My name is Jacksepticeye and welcome back to I am Bread! *Clapping to the music* Such good music okay, so we did the first level and now we’re gonna go in-mouse! Get off my screen please! We’re going on to Tuesday Are there really seven levels in this! Good Lord And I don’t know what quarter of the year it is, so I don’t know what moon is out there um Who are we going for next? we-I think we go into the living room, Mr. Murtin Again 98-the same thing again I guess there’s a story there But I mean there’s so much reading when all I want to do is be a slice of bread let go of that What are you doin’ holdin’ on to that already? Okay Where do we go to get toasted in here? There’s-ah there’s pictures of cats on the walls It wouldn’t be a game designed for internet glory if there weren’t cats on the walls I see video tapes, please tell me there’s a sex tape with your wife there’s. Oh There’s there’s gonna be isn’t there? butts with the muddy footprints do you work in a field or something um there’s a lady on the wall? I’m assuming That’s the person who’s going to be in one of those tapes. I think we have to go over to that thing It’s like an range or something who it let’s take Mr. Pot for a ride though. Yeah Yeah, come here come here Yeah Yes get off that We didn’t jam ourselves up ne-last time and I think Jam is how you yeah is how you slam? Jam makes you stick to things as well, so I’ve heard and also butter makes you slippy So if I want to slip and slide all over the place, I didn’t even get jam yet I am not as Jammy as I’d like to be I’m not in my jammies. Yeah oh, that’s not what I want to do grab this yes, now. We’re good. Now. We’re mothering. We’re fucking sucking diesel Yes. Yes get get lost lid am I all jammed up? What is happening right now? Stop that I don’t want to do that. There we go I am in it in it to win it. There is no way that I am not jammed up right now If I’m not Jammie-jams, then just call me Suzy. Yes. Look how Jammy. I am Maybe going on to the couch will be bad as-bad as well Good God those cheese strings are not sitting well. Cuz if you’re going to carpet it’s bad, so if we go onto couch as well That’s gonna be bad because that’s just as fuzzy so what do we go on I don’t know-Oh bowling ball! I want to get over there. I want to get over there(Whop,whop,whop) That’s the sound bread makes if you ever walk into the kitchen And you’ve ever heard whop you’d know, just go straight to the bread cupboard-thing, wherever you keep your bread [I] don’t know what you people do with your bread. We are gonna. Have to make a serious break for this YOLO BREAD! yes, yes, yes, [oh] We didn’t lose that much (aha) get up get up bread, get up bread. I’ve also seen people Complain about how hard this game is but they’re all like playing it with keyboard You’re not playing this game with a keyboard it will frustrate the shit out of you. We can’t I do anything [no] I’m losing grip get off I’m stuck to it cuz I’m all covered in Jam. Uh-uh no, no you don’t know you don’t just silly bread [here]. We go [whoop] splooge splooge splooge Splooge why would you it’s not splooging for me, splooging is actually a bad thing Okay, bread about town. Let’s do this don’t tell me I’m stuck don’t do this to me not now You hold on goddamn it get off that get off it get off eight there. We go. We got off a [Marsoc] again be covered in Jam. I said it’ll be fun. I said fucken arse to that one Yes, sir. We go. We are a sexy little bread slice, no We’re not were stuck again Jam is the cause of all problems in life You just stick jam on everything and then you have a big sticky situation there. We go good bread That is not where I wanted you to go. Oh shit, balls. [oh] how do I get off? Oh no! Ahaha,Shit,no bread go! *High piched* Nooo Okay, no [jam] this time. You know why we got an f an f for fuzzy fuzzy bread That’s not what you want. You want lovely sexy bread Yes, look at these skills. I am the best prime stock underneath this oh, you don’t hey don’t wiggle (nudge, nudge) look at them slippers [an] old man lives here. [oh] Yeah I’m getting good at this Yes, I like the physics of the game like you just what not the, boxes not the boxes no No, they’re bad. They are bad boxes. Technically this box will be bad as well. Oh God, what buttons am i my pressing? I don’t even know no,NOO stop that bread who told you to be a slice? ah That could have went badly, but you’re fine. You’re a great slice of bread I love you forever and ever there’s a skateboard again. Can I knock you over and go all the way across there. Go skateboard? Yes? yes,yes! I Gotta ride this well [no] I missed! [shit] [get up]. [oh] That was close. We are making our way downtown No blocks. [no], we’re gonna have to yolo this skateboards not going any further unless now. You’re going backwards No, [hurry] want to go. Let’s fucking do you even bread [oh]? See you later block. You’re not blocking me anymore. We’re gonna get straight over to this I really think we have to go over there cuz it’s usually like the complete opposite. It’s five past ten No, it’s not [it’s] 25 past Eleven yes, silly clock that would be a cool little detail if it was real time no the strongest no You silly slice run out of grip get in there? Yeah Didn’t see them from the front. Yeah move boxes. This is my house now Look at me. I’m out. Fuzzy. I got fuzzy shit all over me. Nobody wants a fuzzy bread Nobody anywhere Ever which way do I press to go that way? oh [get] around there get around there. [oh] look at this ha ha ha this is not. How bread stop it camera. Oh Don’t know what’s happening Spider Parade at your cervix. Yeah Sugar cameras going all over the dilly-Dally place. Hey siFl. Okay. We got to read what’s on these videotapes Is [it] the past anyway? loaf actually ha ha ha ha It’s supposed to be love actually but a spread stream take such a bad joke you guys may be looking at this I know what you’re thinking looking at this st.. Jack You suck like just press the buttons to go that way It’s so much harder than it looks because you press buttons a 1D grab This thing doesn’t go where you want it to we gotta be we got to be good about this where you gotta be good about? This we got to flip flip oh Yes, oh crap. Oh, no There’s a lie Bastard at least we’re safe [from] the chair wow Never trust in a poufy schmooper again ok we only need to get to this thing I hope There’s no fire in it or anything I don’t [even] know if we’re supposed to go this way, but I am going to chance it get get down here Oh, yes, thank you, Mr.. Box that actually worked out great. [yeah] buttons [aah] I’m not 20 nights. You bitch. Where you go? I can hear my neighbors next door moving around They’re probably gonna be wondering why I’m shouting at a slice of bread calling it a bitch ha ha Their mind are just in here like slapping up slice of bread come on it in a bitch Don’t [hit] me after I turn you on or something ha ha I’m gonna turn another things on but that Cook her things unless you are a heater switch. Yes It’s on it’s on like Donkey Kong [here] you go good slice her brain Don’t run out [of] grip. Do not run out of grip good. Can I like stick you closer like that like that? Yes cook up a storm ok hundred percent done. That is not as a hundred and one percent That’s bert [ok] ok here. We go here. We go get ready get ready Ready to be toast [I] did it. [I] am toast wait Why did my an impaired ability go down while I was doing that I? I don’t understand this! Maybe I was supposed to butter him up or jam him up. I don’t know. Next day! We’re in a bedroom now and the first thing we see is a cat in a sexy pose. I don’t like where this is going okay [whew] you and me bread slice Let’s do this you and me together forever look at this just the two of us We can bread it if we try oh, god oh See you later cat picture. Oh, it’s a bed. What do I cook on? I see a lamp over there What I still have to toast myself on a lamp Okay, [I] want to go up there. There’s a skateboard up there. Oh, yes, that’s exactly what I wanted to do that’s [exactly] what I wanted to do That’s not that’s not it no Get up! *Pterodactyl mating call* I’m safe. Ahahah! Know what, fuck it. We’re restarting that one that was not. Do over! Change the rules. Spin! You spin every other time why aren’t you doing it now? Look at these skills! Yeah! Bread champion in the making! My mother’s gonna be so proud of me when she sees this She’s gonna be like hey all those times you were cooking toast in the kitchen I see that it was to just practice for your lifelong goal of being expert bread. Jenga! J-Jenga. Jenga! JENGA! Jenga-OOH. I almost fell off. *GASP* All I do is knock you off. Bye, have a beautiful time! Haha, spider bread spider bread does whatever the spider bread does. Can you swing from a web? No, he can’t. He’s a bread- Hey, I can see outside! There’s grass outside! Grass is always greener on the other side There’s also no grass on the inside, so of course any grass on the outside would be greener. Come on. Go go go go Yes, yes, yes stay there, stay there, stay there, stay there! Stupid Jam. No, I don’t want any of your slam get away from me. Okay. What do we do? We [???] Getting on a skateboard’s not gonna help anything! Okay, we’re good. We’re gonna we’re gonna make it through to the other side skateboard’s not a help at all. I’m gonna have to get up over the door jamb. Here we go! Watch this bread go. This is like It’s like octodad that’s what this game is like you just flying along trying to be a bread oh Don’t you give up on me now bread! I am not bread-y! Oh, dat bread dough ha ha ha bread’s made outta dough Ha ha ha! Is this good is this what I want? No, now there’s a plate on top of me! Ha ha ha [???] I’m a flying saucer. I’m going straight down onto the lamp Flips for days Yes, hello, stapler. Okay, we have to knock over the lamp. Maybe- oh! No, can I just sit here for like four and a half weeks? I’d be toasted by then. I still have a hundred percent edibility. I am the best little bread. Why why why why why what happened? What happened just now? Why did I lose edibility? Like fuckin 50% of it almost? I’m covered in pencil shavings! People eat that right? People always eat their pencils. It goes great on toast you guys never had it. It’s almost as good as vaseline on toast. Here we go, here we go, lamp! Fall down, fall down, lamp! Fall down lamp! Where are you going? Come here. Come here lamp. Oh! I need you to fall over please sir lamp. You’re testing Every single tiny piece of patience that I have right now if you could fall over That’ll be fucking Magnificent do you even fall over? I mean is this a fruitless effort that I’m doing right [now] We’re just holding on for [dear] life. No reason here. We go here. We go. I’m anya I’m anya Rodeo You bitch! That’s it. This is the end close your eyes and count to go fuck yourself That’s it, I’m going to bed. I’m going to bed. Just just tuck me in, just tuck me in. All I want to do is gonna sleep right now? Just gonna hide under the bed under the pillow. I- just tuck my head in go nice snoozy snooze. Goodnight. See you later. Bye. We’re taking a different route. We’re just doing a bit of gardening. If this pot can just go away just go away Yeah, here we go! Whoa hey because some oh I squished one of them. Oh God, they’re stuck to me. This could be bad. [oh] No, no, it’s katamari Damacy for sure no No, no [God] no no no no no could we make it to the ironing board Could we could we could we flip if we were just sneaky enough? I think we could do it We gotta set ourselves up straight. Waddle back a bit now this could be the biggest jump of our lives ah Yes nailed that landing [oh] I toast myself on the iron! Here we go, toasting like a boss! This is how you really toast you put sweets all over at first. Yes! I really like those sweets as well, and I can’t think of the name of them. Why is my edibility going down? My edibility’s at zero. Why? Is it because I’m not evenly toasted? You are a bitch, game. I’m playing by your rules! So when you go to toast yourself, you fucking lose edibility anyway Screw that. Okay that does it for this episode of I Am Bread! This game frustrates me. No bigger than anything else good God. Trying to toast myself on a light. What is this, Easy Bake Oven Bread Simulator? I don’t think so, but anyway Thank you guys so much watching this episode if you liked it Punch that like button in the face, like a boss! And, high fives all around! Thank you guys, and I will see all you dudes in the next video! “F” for fucking lovely toast!